the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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