Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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