it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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