No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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