i may or may not be watching the land before time
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
