it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
