I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
