Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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