i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
