That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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