Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
