If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
