So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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