I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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