Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This girl is more easily done than said...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
