I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
