I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
