Apparently you make a good broom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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