were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
