I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize