You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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