If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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