After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize