if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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