YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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