is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
