Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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