I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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