ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
