What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
