i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
