I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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