sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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