i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
