what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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