her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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