there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize