in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
