My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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