Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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