Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
