i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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