so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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