He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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