You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
