We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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