If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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