not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
