i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Randomize