I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The uberlube is also flammable
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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