Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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