It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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