it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
