I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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