I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize